Teaching kids how to pound it

As a teacher, I am an enthusiastic giver of high fives and fist pumps. I get really excited when a kid answers ANYTHING I askcorrectly. It is such a personal achievement when a kid answers a question and I don’t have to give them a million hints. What day is it today? Is it monDAY? tuesDAY? wednesDAY? So on and so forth. I don’t know how many times I have said WE DON’T GO TO SCHOOL ON SUNDAY.

This week I am attempting to teach “where are you?” and answering “I am in the ______ room.” There have been numerous occasions of “I am living room,” so whenever they get it CORRECTLY I practically scream I am so pumped. I have given about a billion stickers away in order to use positive reinforcement.

Today, a little girl Liza (who I admit is one of my very favorites) answered correctly and as I went up to high five, she was like POUND IT. No high five for me thank you! I am going to give you some knux instead. I almost urinated on myself I was so excited. It may have been the cutest thing I have ever witnessed in my 22 years, and I have also seen a baby goat. So that’s really saying something.

Celebrate the small things everyone, it adds a lot to life.

p.s. I know you aren’t supposed to have favorites/show that they are your favorites. I remember at camp they always said that YOU WILL HAVE FAVORITES, because you just do. But you can never EVER show it. But, at the kindergarten I practically pick up and squeeze Liza and Vova every time I see them. I just absolutely ADOOOORE those kids. Do you ever work with kids and think, I want my child to be exactly like them. I feel this way about Liza and Vova.

I shall be a governess

Yeah, that’s right everyone. I am fulfilling my Victorian dreams of becoming a governess. I am going to fill the role that graced the pages of Jane Eyre, Emma, Pride and Prejudice, and what have you in order to mold the mind of a young lady and make her presentable in society.

Bonnets, ribbons, walks in the countryside, finding a proper suitor, determining which ball to attend, what languages to learn, what books to read, geography, calisthenics, and weaving! Wow, I cannot WAIT!

Although it is my dream to wear ankle length burlap dresses in the 1800’s and speak of modesty and proper manners, I will soon be a modern day GOVERNESS. I am working with a little girl named Amina who is basically an angel child. I met the family this past weekend, and they were PUMPED to have an English speaker with their daughter. I thought, well yeah I speak English and I have some experience working with kids so….I’ll take it?

The family is just lovely, and I cannot speak more warmly about the little girl. She was smiling the whole time, well behaved, had proper manners, and didn’t watch tv. I was thinking….you are a RARE GEM my dear child. I start giving her lessons on Friday, which I don’t mind because she is so so SO cute and sweet. PUMPED!

I will live in their dacha (Russian summer home) during the weekdays and go home on the weekends. I am so excited for a wonderful opportunity.

ALSO.

My parents are coming at the end of June! Wheee wheeeee wheeeeeeee! High kicks all around! I am really looking forward to seeing them, and showing them my hood in SPB. This city will be absolutely BEAUTIFUL in the summer, and I just can’t wait to see their faces! My parents really are the jamalam. I just wish my sister could come though 😦 She will someday hopefully before she becomes the president.

I hope everyone is enjoying spring and soaking up the sun!

Love & high kicks

First Scarlet Fever Outbreak Since 1832

Yeah that’s right. Scarlet Fever is coming back after it laying dormant for about a HUNDRED YEARS.

I don’t actually know when Scarlet Fever was an ACTUAL threat to our lives, but it’s alive and well. In Russia. Specifically in my kindergarten classroom. Sometimes I feel as though Russia is just decades behind the rest of the world. It’s trying so hard to be modernized, but there are just some things that would have been common knowledge in my grandparents’ generation that is still believed TODAY. Do garlic cloves up my nostrils really help me? Do they?

My class has undergone some extreme illness outbreaks this past month, beginning with chicken pox, which wiped out half the class. I was the only teacher who hadn’t gotten chicken pox before, and I explained that I have the VACCINE. You know, the thing that prevents you from getting the disease? They were rather skeptical that this so called “vaccine” would be helpful. You’re right Russia, modern vaccines that save millions of lives are just a bunch of HOGWASH!

So now, we have SCARLET FEVER. Say what? Isn’t it 2012? Not 1812. I remember reading about scarlet fever in Hawthorne novels and whatnot. Where the treatment is bloodletting and putting damp cloths on the forehead. Or putting herbs up your nose or whatever.

Well, medicine in Russia hasn’t changed too much here actually. This was our MANDATORY PLAN OF ACTION FOR SCARLET FEVER QUARANTINE:

1) Wear a white labcoat when you leave the classroom! Everyone wears the same labcoat over and over and over! Don’t wash it! God forbid!

2) WASH ALL THE TOYS WITH WATER! NO BLEACH OR SANITIZING FLUID!

3) Fold all the rugs and don’t do anything with them!

4) Don’t wash any of the soft toys, just put them in a bag in the basement, then get them back when the quarantine is over!

5) Gargle with medicine that looks like ink, and tastes like pool water!

6) Gargle some more with plant liquid!

7) No one can bring toys from home!

8) Anyone can enter our classroom if it’s important….or just to chat!

So, I bet you’re thinking about the labcoat idea. They say that the germs can stay on your clothes, and thus you need to wear this coat to cover your exposed clothes. I am no scientist or anything, nor am I educated in medicine, but I have just a hunch that germs can also be spread by your hands or breath…as in coughing or sneezing. But then again, WHAT DO I KNOW. I am just wiping toys down with a dirty washcloth trying to prevent our children from the plague.

Hey Russia, ever heard of bleach? Germ x? A little lysol even? No? Well let’s get on the sanitizing train so we don’t get diseases from the last century!

I live in a weird place.

Hope all is well!

The last time I am drinking whiskey

You know, I never ever talk about drinking on here. I don’t think that it is central to my writing, nor do I want the young readers to be influenced in thinking that alcohol is cool/awesome/necessary. Because really, it’s not always great.

Let me start by saying that I am NOT a hard partier. Many people will attest to the fact that I am usually the first to go to bed or leave a party because I’m thinking”Hey, why are we up past midnight??! I have a book to read.” I was born about 75 years old. Give me a good book, a blanket, and a cup of coffee and I am SET. I am also such a high energy hyper person that alcohol just makes me sleepy. My eyes start to droop almost instantly, and if you let me lie down there is no use in trying to wake me. Ask any of the girls I lived with in college. WOW DO I MISS FELLAND HOUSE.

Ok moving on. Every Saturday I play soccer with all Russian men. It’s usually really great, although sometimes men just really like to show off and not pass. This is always my complaint about playing soccer with guys. HEY PASS THE BALL AND DON’T THINK ABOUT ME BEING A LADY.

Anyway, we went to a cafe afterwards. I wasn’t really asked if I wanted to go, but just put in the car and asked what I wanted to order. Russians really don’t take no for an answer….if you are given a choice that is. Not that I am good at saying no either. It’s not my strong point…one could say. But really, I was not too keen on going in the first place.

This is the last time I am drinking with all Russian men.

We were eating our food, and we paused about every two bites to make toasts with shots of whiskey. I was privileged to give a toast (in English), and it was pretty eloquent given the amount of alcohol I had already consumed.  Russians are pretty long winded with toasts, let me just say now. They all stand and it’s really quite formal in some ways. One guy made me sit down though because I was a lady. They did toast to my beauty though, which was pretty hilarious. I was like “YEAH TO MY BEAUTY WHOOOOOO!” I danced with two of my teammates which was pretty hysterical because NO ONE WAS DANCING. No one. Not one. Except sometimes a drunk middle aged woman would dance by herself. I thought, I don’t want to be her when I am 43.

Then, when everybody was already drunk and gone, Sasha (teammate, good mentor and friend) made me meet the owners of the restaurant because I gave an English lesson to their son once. They were so so soooo nice, and they gave me fresh strawberries. I almost cried over them. Such a luxury here, let me tell you. The thing is, the owner poured me a GLASS of whiskey. Not a shot, not a little bit, A GLASS. I thought ohhhhh boy. There were many more toasts, and I finished my glass of whiskey. It was then past the time to go home.

I was on the metro and thought, why why whyyyyyy did I allow myself to drink with Russian men? I was whoozy, had the hiccups (embarrassing) and on public transportation. NOT A GOOD COMBO. I was supposed to meet Misha about two hours prior to when I actually arrived. I said hello, and then passed out immediately. Look how fun I am!

Regardless, it was a great night. I think I represented American women pretty well, ha!. I think that may be the last time I will have whiskey for quite some time. My advice is this: if a Russian invites you to drink, say yes, but don’t ever ever EVER believe you can keep up. Because you can’t. No one can.

Keep it real!

 

 

 

Women, WE ARE AWESOME

First and foremost, I realize that I have been less than stellar about updating my blog. I vow that this day forward, I will be a more regular writer. The past month has whizzed by and I have been busy as usual, but luckily some things are slowing down a bit because I teach only two classes in the evenings instead of four. Phew! I was struggling there for a bit. Now I have a bit more time to breathe, to see friends, check my email, and prepare for classes all while having some normal sleep. I have been trying to stay in touch with friends and remembering not get too wrapped up in my schedule to not be consistent with communicating with people from home. Not that I could ever forget or live without any of the wonderful people who fill my life with goodness, humor, and joy.

Moving forward.

Today is March 8th, otherwise known as Women’s Day. It’s a huuuuuuge deal in Russia which is AWESOME because all of the kids in my class gave us flowers, chocolates, and various other gifts. I even got deodorant. Basically I had about 12 bouquets and three gift bags to carry home on the metro. I flowered someone in the face as I ran into the metro just before the doors were closing. Whoops. Luckily that’s normal in Russia.

Let me just say that I totally rocked the gift giving to my Green Group team. I bought the other three ladies in my group LUSH gift boxes. They were really surprised! I was like duhhhhh GO LADIES! WE ROCK!

The men at the kindergarten gave a performance for the ladies which included a man in drag, a cake the size of a bed, many glasses of wine (yay Russia!), and a man half singing half reading a song-poem. Not sure about that but it was really nice overall. What a great day it is to celebrate all the wonderful women in the world. Here are some of my top female role models who basically rock:

My mom- funny lady, crafter extraordinaire, and all around strong lady. Go mom!
sister Amanda- too many good things to say, but basically sharp as a tack and will cut you with her intelligence. Also takes no nonsense. Mad respect for that superwoman.
Tina Fey- pee my pants, my hero/want to be her.
Gwen Stefani- whoa. too cool. Her beauty hurts my eyes.
Dolly Parton- hilarious, generous, islands in the stream.
Queen Latifah- rapper, hilarious, beautiful, all around stellar.
Lady Gaga- all time hero. TRAILBLAZER.
Clare- best friend until the end of time, wow you amaze me every day!
That was my little dedication to all the women in the world who do great things every. single day. My list is small, and obviously there are many men in this world who are beyond amazing too. BUT today we are celebrating all that is awesome about women, and there are too many things to mention about how awesome we really are.

Basically if you want to feel great about being a lady, listen to “Superwoman” by Alicia Keys. Needless to say her voice brings me to tears it’s so wonderful, but you have to listen to this song. Soon you too will have your diva finger in the air busting out all the high notes.

Today I encourage you tell all the women that you know that they are rays of sunshine, sparkly diamonds, and glimmering stars of awesomeness. Because they are.

Have a wonderful day, live it up!

why I have aged twenty years in russia

I am slowly becoming an old woman.

1. I wake up at 645 and have muesli and earl grey tea.

2. I injured my back playing soccer and was hunched over for two weeks.

3. I take vitamins and tonic for health.

4. I go to bed no later than 1030 pm.

5. I have had 4 colds since being here.

6. Now I have a minor case of pink eye.

Russia has been challenging my mind, body, and spirit! I will prevail, as I am not one to waver my positive spirit.  But seriously, PINK EYE? It’s all the children I work with I swear.

 

On the other hand, HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! I hope you spread all the love, smiles, hugs, kisses, joy, and warmth you possibly can. I know there are some Valentine’s Day haters out there, which can be understandable if you find weird trinkets and crappy chocolate to be less than awesome gifts. I agree. BUT there is nothing more awesome than seeing all kinds of people show love for one another on this great day. So tell someone they are absolutely wonderful today! Thanks to everyone who reads my blog, been apart of my life, and supported me in this adventure. I love you all!

High kicks,

Lindsay

 

Blakeney…proper fish and chips!

fish and chips...finished fish and chips!finished fish and chips!

With a warm and loving hug from Russia, welcome back!

Sometimes, Russia makes you feel like you’re in a romantic comedy. It’s a truly beautiful city. The stunning architecture is breathtaking, the fur coats ooze glamour, and weapon-like stilettos make you feel inferiorly dressed. You feel like any adventure can happen. Fall in love! Have a dance break in the middle of a park! Meet Putin! Wow, you just want to spin around and high kick you’re so joyous. Sometimes though, Russia sticks a metal pole up your butt.

You know, I really loved England. It was a lovely time, where the beer was flowing,  people were waving with a friendly disposition, and there was no shortage of superb chocolate. My hosts were beyond hospitable and wonderful,  I watched a million soccer games, and practised various regional accents. I cannot wait to go back and visit. The Olympics and the Diamond Jubilee?! Hello, I am so there.

But Russia, Russia, why must you be so unforgiving and cruel?

Firstly, I had many a visa problem when I was in England, for these reasons:

a) needed an HIV test that was NOT a million dollars

b) needed to wait a week for HIV results

c) all places closed for holidays

d) all places closed for Russian holidays

e) I am not a resident of the UK

IT TOOK ME OVER A MONTH TO GET A VISA.

I emailed my school, and they were not too happy or understanding. COOL. I really planned to wait a million years and spend a million dollars just to have a longer vacation!!!!! Whatever, over it.

I was set to go back on Sunday the 22nd. I got all my things ready for departure, and guess what? Did you know there was a maximum weight for bags? It’s 32 kilos. I was 3 kilos over the maximum. In order to change that situation I had to open my bags in front of everyone in line, who watched me stuff about 65 bars of chocolate into my already bulging carry on bags. I must have looked like the greediest hog ever. I wanted to say WAIT DON’T JUDGE THESE ARE PRESENTS! But are they really?

So that was the start of my trip, and it went downhill from there. I finally get to Petersburg, and the passport control lady didn’t like the way I filled out my migration card thing so I had to wait in line AGAIN for twenty minutes. I get my bags and there is a place where you have to scan your bags, but do you? We don’t know, because some people walked through and others didn’t. The lady made a rude notion behind me as I was deciding what to do. What do you do? We will never know.  Russians, so friendly and helpful!

I needed a taxi, as there was no way I could carry about 100 pounds of luggage alone. This nice gentleman helped me with everything and I was so appreciative. THANK YOU FOR BEING HELPFUL KIND MAN.

False.

I was riding along for LESS THAN TWENTY minutes when he shows me the total on the “meter.” It was 4,078 rubles. That’s approximately $120. I didn’t have that much money, so I gave him what I had and I was so MAD. I hauled all my luggage accross 4 lanes of traffic, through the snow, down some curbs, and up four flights of stairs. Why would you have an elevator in a building? HOW WEIRD.

I unpacked. I was sweaty, tired, and very angry at the fact that the MOMENT I stepped onto Russian soil people were rude and conniving.

I skyped Clare and my parents that night, and I just cried to my mom and dad. I have never ever everrrrr cried once in Russia. Not for missing home, my family, my friends, good coffee, or the comforts of English. Not even when they stuck a metal pole up my butt. No, not even then. But Russia really can take a toll on the most positive of spirits. YOU WON’T WEAR ME DOWN RUSSIA.

I got back to work, had to give a timetable about all the steps I took in order to get my visa, and you know what…they thought I was in America! The whole time! I never told a living human that I was going to America. Uh, also it doesn’t matter because it was RUSSIAN BUREAUCRACY, not AMERICAN. It especially wasn’t American, because I wasn’t there!

One of my students told me this:

“Lindsay, Russia will make you a very strong person. When you get back to America, not much will stand in your way.”

SHE’S RIGHT.

Keep it real.

Praise to the High Heavens, the Russians gave me a visa!

Wow.

That’s all I can really say about the process of getting this visa. I am not a stressed out or anxious person by any means, but this ordeal raised my blood pressure a bit. A bit.

My visa was supposed to be ready today, but it wasn’t updated on the visa tracker online. Trust me, I would know if it was updated because I checked that thing no less that 6 times a day. The status hadn’t changed since I went there LAST TUESDAY, and let’s just say I was a bit nervous considering I booked an unfairly expensive flight for Sunday so I could get back to work on Monday. I am already a week and a half late for classes. MAJOR BOOTY.

Anyway, yesterday when I looked online there was still NO CHANGE. I was thinking many expletives when I saw that. I called my parents and both of them said to go to the application center and ask for it. Be assertive. Tenacious. Ask for what you want and pack a sandwich so you don’t get hungry. Do a sit in. Well let’s just say I am not the conflict type, and I can be sassy but only in a joking way. It’s not my nature to be particularly assertive. My sister Amanda got all of those qualities, and look at her now. On her way to be a lawyer. I on the other hand, play with kids and rehearse for life altering Christmas pageants.

Anyway, I listened to some rap to get my confidence up, preparing to ask for MY VISA. I got my ticket and mentally prepared for the potential worst.

So after a few rounds of Tupac jams I was ready. I got into the taxi and went into the consulate with guns blazing.

“I would like to make sure that my visa is ready today.” (Intimidating voice)

“Ok, no problem. Here’s your number.”

So anyway, I was the second one called, I gave the lady my receipt, got my visa and I was done.

WHAT?!

I was so prepared to sit there forever, and I was probably there for no more than five minutes. She took my receipt though, which I should have kept but I was so shocked that it was so easy that I just whispered a meagre “thank you” and was like PEACE OUT SUCKAS!!!!!

I hailed a cab back (that’s right look at this city girl) to King’s Cross, and the driver was the BEST. He was super chatty and lovely and we were there before you knew it. He said, “You’ve never been in a cab before have you.” He knew right away, and I think it was because of my awkward wave which was more like greeting an elderly neighbor than flagging a taxi down.

SO NOW I AM BACK IN SOHAM WITH A VISA!!!!!!!! I don’t have to cancel my ticket, I will be back at work Monday, and I am ready to actually start the new year!

When I told my mom today that I got my visa, she said PARTY TIME! Like mother like daughter.

Anyway, I am off to celebrate! WHEEE HIGH KICK!

p.s. I made the font turn bold somehow and I have NO IDEA how to change it. So, my b.